Murder at Lakeview Nursing Home

April 21, 2018

La Ferme Rouge - Patton, PA

Lakeview Nursing Home isn't such a bad place to live out the remainder of your days, that is if you don't mind the crazies that are in residence. I can't speak for all nursing homes but this one seems to house all the "strange" elderly people they can find.

When I arrived the first thing I saw was an old man in a wheelchair complaining about someone stealing his knitting. He even accused me. I tried explaining to him that I just arrived, but he was a mean old man who wouldn't listen to reason. He went rolling away saying it was probably that darn cat Mr. Mittens again.

I was feeling sorry for the old man and was going to help him, but just then a lovely lady by the name of Pearl Vanderbelt came strolling into the common room singing her favorite show tunes. What a treat! I was impressed with the fact they had a singer in residence, but then she told me she was really a movie star and was just waiting for her next script to arrive and she would be back in Hollywood. I guess her stay is temporary, but by the look on the aids face, Pearl wasn't going anywhere.

Cesare Moretti introduced himself to me as the resident Italian lover. Oh my! It seems Cesare is in love with any woman who walks through the door. He is either really lonely or needs a new pair of glasses. I guess when you get to be his age anyone will do. 

I was just about to ask about the cat that the man in the wheelchair mentioned when the cat arrived with a woman by the name of Mabel Abernathy. I was very shocked when I realized the cat was "stuffed" but Mabel didn't seem to notice. She talked away to "Mr. Mittens" as if he were real. She seemed so very sad and even the cat in her arms couldn't take away the sadness in her eyes.

Have you ever come across someone who is just plain grumpy? When I met Ethel Davenport, all I could think about was "has she always been this way"? She was bossing everyone around, telling me I should wear more appropriate shoes for a woman of my age, and then she started on what I was wearing. I tried explaining to her I was just a visitor but she didn't care. I don't think she gets many visitors, not that I blame anyone for staying away.

Before I left, I met the nicest man in the entire home, his name is Sargent Major Theodore Hopkirk. He is retired military and he had the most wonderful stories to tell about the war. Hmm come to think of it he told stories from the Korean War, Dessert Storm, World War II, and even the Civil War.
Well, as I said Lakeview Nursing Home has it's share of crazies. Now who would want to murder one of these residents and why?

Come join us for a night of murder and intrigue!                                                                         

    For reservations or more information contact us at:

814-954-1556 ext. 3

Credit cards accepted

The evening begins at 4:00

(doors open at 4:00)

$45.00 per person includes dinner and entertainment

Seating is limited, reservations are required

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